The Kid Named Billy

His name was Billy.

Actually I don’t remember his name, but I remember him. He was around 8 years old and played on my T-Ball team – I was the coach. It was one of my many Summer jobs when I was in High School.

Billy (as I’ll call him) was a good player. At least in practice. He could catch, cover a base – like no other 8 year old – and hit really well – oh, for those who think it’s easy to knock it off a tee, just try it sometime!

But something would happen when we got to the games. Billy would freeze up. Not listen. Almost like he was afraid.

I’ll never forget talking to his mom the stark difference between Billy “the practice player” and Billy “the game day player.” Confused on what was causing this, until his mom offered this:

“Oh, it’s probably because his dad beats him.”


I don’t remember what I said next, but I’m sure I asked her to repeat what she said.

“When we get home from the games, his dad beats him because he knows he can do better.”

And there it was. Even for a High School teen, I knew why Billy froze on game day. It wasn’t the fact he couldn’t play, it was the fact of what his dad would do if he didn’t play well. If he didn’t perform.

I remember telling the mom that I didn’t mean to interfere but I didn’t think that was helping Billy. He quit and never came back. That was the last time I saw Billy.

Here’s my question.

When it comes to your relationship with God, your heavenly “dad”, are you like Billy?

We all screw up. We all make mistakes. We all sin. But do you live in fear of your mistakes and see God as a “Ah-HA GOT YOU!” God who just loves to grind you down for the bad person you are?

Can you simply not forgive yourself because you can’t allow God to forgive you either?

If you read this far, then know this:

STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP! Jesus took the beating for YOU on the cross!


Yes you are broken (we all are).

Yes you need saving (we all do).

But unlike Billy, God isn’t waiting to beat you down after you’re already down.

He’s waiting to hold you and love you for ever and ever and ever.  




The End.

I see shattered

You see whole

I see broken

But You see beautiful

And You’re helping me to believe

You’re restoring me piece by piece

There’s nothing too dirty that You can’t make worthy

You wash me in mercy

I am clean.

There’s nothing too dirty that You can’t make worthy

You wash me in mercy

I am clean.

From “Clean” by Natalie Grant


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